My Thoughts on Loneliness

I think we all exist in cages. I believe we are all alone in many ways, but we are alone... together. It isn't that we can't relate to each other or communicate or interact with one another, it's just something keeps us from truly being together. Even after the most intensely honest conversations that make me think, "Wow, I'm not alone," I still leave and go my own way. I'm still alone in ways. I'm not magically conjoined to the other person after we pour our hearts out. I'm not saying we should give up on relationships out of despair and isolate ourselves. There is a difference between isolation and solitude. Solitude is refreshing, whereas isolation is exhausting. Solitude is enjoyable, whereas isolation is miserable. In the words of Paul Tillich, “Language... has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone.”

Being a Christian doesn't mean that our cages are broken, but perhaps someone joins us and unites with us, someone who won't abandon us. Even though sometimes we can't feel Him, I believe He's always there. I believe this because He didn't abandon us at the crucifixion -the one time everyone would've understood if He had just left us- and He isn't leaving us now. Ultimately I think Jesus is the only one who understands us, at least on that unknowable, unexplainable level on which our deepest thoughts and most indescribable emotions lie. I think when we get to heaven our cages will melt away and we will all float around like little fireflies, dancing and laughing and enjoying our freedom. Until them I'm going to appreciate the separation. After all, we would probably hurt each other a lot more if we were free on this planet.

We just have to deal with some things on our own. Sometimes to articulate our thoughts is to take away the beauty and magic of them.

Have you ever noticed that it's always the people who say they'll always be there for you are the ones who aren't really there at all? Or maybe we just notice it more when they aren't there because they actually verbalized a promise of their presence. Or maybe we just put a lot of pressure on them and it hurts when they don't do something that is, in fact, impossible.

I think it's good to come to terms with our "aloneness," with our cages, and with ourselves. Relationships can be so wonderful, but we tend to disappoint each other and we just have to accept that. That is all.