Vines, Eyes, and Friday Nights

Hello friends!

I hope you've had a good week. This week was certainly interesting. It's been one of those soul-searching, conviction, and growth kind of weeks for me.

I spent my Sunday evening writing up all my goals for this school quarter. I think it's good to re-evaluate our habits and our direction and everything. If you ever need any inspiration to make changes, I recommend the Declaration of Independence. Honestly, it inspires me so much. Not to mention how beautiful it is.

I've missed Gulfport so much this week. I miss everything about it. Being the only child still at home really stinks sometimes. I'm all for solitude and meditation and all that, but sometimes I just need a lot of people around. Or not even a lot of people. Just 7 beautiful, honest, encouraging, Jesus-pursuing girls...in a little trailer...in a little town called Gulfport.

John 15:5 has most definitely been my life's theme this week... "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I remain in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." Apart from Him I can do nothing. I can't depend on my cheap attempts at optimism to get through my trials; I must depend on Him for my joy. I can't depend on some hippie "peace and love" mentality to truly love and value people; I must depend on Him to give me love for others and to love through me. On my own, I am judgmental and make no effort whatsoever to be understanding of other people and their choices; only through Him can I have patience and eyes to see that the people I perceive to be just "jerk faces" are God's beautiful creations who have so much potential. People struggle with all different things, and on my own I spend all my efforts criticizing them and feeling hurt by them; only by His conviction and strength can I instead spend my time praying for and loving them. He must become greater.

That last paragraph was probably a bit vague, but it's pretty much a summary of everything the Holy Spirit has been teaching me this week.

I've been listening to really strange music all week... from The Weepies to Yellowcard (their new stuff is super great, by the way) to Superchick (if you want to start your day off right, they are a great tired-unmotivated-mad-at-the-world band... I mean, they themselves aren't like that, but they are encouraging to those who are! ha).

Oh! A lifelong dream came true this week. Ever since I met my four-eyed friend named Autumn in 2nd grade, I've been pretty much jealous of everyone who wears glasses. But not anymore! That's right; I have my very own! I didn't really realize how dorky and/or hipster they were when I picked them out, but you know.

Well, I need to go "get down" [on the floor buried in a pile of textbooks, that is] because, in case you haven't heard, it's Friday, Friday. ;)

Much Love,

Marissa Lanae

The Gulfport Post

Hello friends!

So, tomorrow is definitely my last day of spring break and I'm definitely sad about that. This past week has truly passed so quickly. I'll try to fill you in on everything that's happened...

We left bright and early Saturday morning for Gulfport! Oh man, where do I begin talking about this trip? It was so great. I learned so much and deepened so many relationships. It was nothing short of beautiful. Two of my closest friends went this year, whereas last year I was hardly acquaintances with anyone who went. Their being there definitely presented some new challenges.

For one, there was some major cliquey-ness going on in the beginning, but we prayed about it quite a bit and by the end of the week, we had all grown so much closer to each other. That's not to say that everything was peachy-keen at the end of the week because there was/is definitely still tension and conflict, but I'd say we all made an effort to reach out to each other.

Another challenge was in guarding words. I'm a pretty quiet person so I know I don't struggle with "taming my tongue" as much as some people do, but I still struggle with it. The pastor at the church we worked with challenged us on Sunday morning to be encouragers, both through our words and through our actions. A lot of times I kind of feel like I get a free pass on the whole "words of encouragement" thing because I'm really quiet and sensitive and feel entitled to receiving encouragement rather than giving it. But some of the most outgoing girls there were talking about how much hope a single hug or word of encouragement can bring them on the most hopeless days. One of the girls said something along the lines of "When you're having a bad day, the first thing you're going to think of is the unkind words spoken to you as a joke." We can do so much with our words; they have power for life or death, literally. I want to speak words of life and love and not waste my time "jokingly" tearing other people down when I have the opportunity to build them up. I think back to all the times I've been bullied and I wonder how different my life might be had people used their words to encourage me rather than taunt me.

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm not glad they went; I completely am and I'm so grateful for these challenges... It was just so very different from last year.

The lady who chaperoned us, Ms. Barbra, challenged us all to learn one new fact about each of the girls there. I absolutely loved learning more about everyone. I definitely want to start getting to know all of my friends better.

Another thing I loved was "circle time." Each night we would circle up in the main room of our trailer, sitting on teensy tiny chairs, and just talk for hours. We laughed and cried and prayed and sang. We poured our hearts out and received attention, support, and encouragement. I miss circle time with the trailer girls!

I had the greatest birthday EVER on Tuesday. I was sung to eight stinking times. And there was much cake involved. And many texts and phone calls. And many "Happy Birthday"s. And plenty of embarrassment. ;) I've genuinely never felt so loved. It was a wonderful day.

I met so many interesting people and had so many great experiences. I know there's a lot more to say, but I'll leave it at this for now. :)

Much Love,

Marissa Lanae

As the week draws to a close...

Hello! I've been blogging so much lately. I think this new font I selected just really inspires me. I guess I should keep up the trend. The following is a list of things pertaining to this past week. Enjoy!

• Seeing the school play. Plays are literally the best, (especially musicals!) and this one did not disappoint. Except that I sat by people I didn't know. And that was awkward. Plus the guy next to me totally reeked of cigarette smoke. Oh, private school...
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• The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. I'm really trying to make reading a priority. I absolutely love books, but I always feel a bit guilty for reading when I should be studying or something. But my parents are always telling me I need to make time for rest and fun activities, so really, if I don't read, I'm breaking the 5th commandment! Ha. Anyways, this book is truly stunning and inspiring. Her honest faith is just breath-taking and refreshing.
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• Barton Hollow by The Civil War. I've heard nothing but good things about this album. Literally, everyone loves it. So when I saw it in the $5 section on Amazon, I decided to buy it. It's so chill and delightful.
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• March. Such a good month. My birthday, Gulfport, springy weather.... so great. March 1 just brings a certain sense of hopeful delight.
• Sweet people. Kindness is one of those things in life I value deeply, and there was certainly plenty of it this week. Encouraging conversations, people being super considerate... they truly make my life so much better.
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• I lost my keys for the first time. I think I've arrived. I can finally relate to the "losing your keys" part of that list people make of things that go wrong in the morning.
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• Speaking of crummy mornings, this morning was truly so crummy. I've been trying so hard not to go to sleep until all my work is done, but last night I just crashed around midnight having only done a little bit of my work. I woke up around 6, completely stressed. But if there's one thing I've learned the past 2 months, it's that I can trust Jesus in everything, including (and perhaps especially at this point in my life) my schoolwork. I'll leave it at that, but trust me, I could not have survived today without trusting Him.

Well, that's all for now. I'm off to read the National Geographic, 'cause that's what I do on Friday nights. ;)

Much Love,

Marissa Lanae