If I could give you one piece of advice right now, not for all time but for right now, it would be to not forget. To not forget the things that inspire you, that make you laugh and cry, that make you question and doubt, that make you feel alive and like your life has meaning, that make you fear, that make you grow. Don't forget the sunsets and the sandcastles, the obnoxious sun and the torrential rain... the aspects of nature that remind us who we are and who God is. Don't forget the days you could barely survive or the ones you never wanted to end.
That's why I write mostly... so I don't forget.
That's why I'm writing this... so I don't forget the beauty and the mess that were this past year.
I set a few goals; I wanted to memorize the New Testament, for one. I didn't do that, but I spent a few months reading through the book of Acts and I was surprised by how much I remembered of it, or how much would come back to my mind throughout the day, when I was just reading through it and soaking it up and praying for "illumination." Another goal I set was to read 40 books. I fell 19 shy, but I read some of the most wonderful books in the world... books that inspired me and changed my perspective. I wanted to train and run a half-marathon this year; that didn't happen, but over the summer I got into the best shape I've ever been in. The only other goal I set was to not buy any clothing items for myself. I think I bought 3 shirts, but they were for good causes. So I didn't meet my goals the way I hoped I would, but I feel like my resolutions were still successes.
"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn."- C.S. Lewis
That quote pretty much sums up the events of the year. I learned so much, so deeply. It's not that everything that happened the whole entire year was just horrible, but most of the really wonderful times stemmed from the crummy times. The event that impacted me most of the whole year was, hands down, my trip to Gulfport over Spring Break. I was beyond horrified to go... my first official mission trip, not knowing anyone (at least not knowing them well) who was going, etc. But I genuinely felt certain that the Lord wanted me to go, so I did, and it was amazing. Nerve-racking, draining, scary, and often uncomfortable? Oh yes. But I learned so much and grew so much. I think about that trip almost every day.
The main lessons I learned (and am still learning) are equality and fulfillment. Equality... not feeling inferior or superior to anyone. We're all equal. No one is without struggles and fears and hurts, even people who parade their "perfection" and are well-liked and well-respected. Fulfillment... It can't be found in people or success or relationships or a career or in activism or anything except God. I'm not sure how exactly, but I think the first step is understanding that.
That's all for 2010.
Now for 2011...
My resolutions are as follows: Have a "quiet time" every day. I feel guilty for putting this one because apparently setting aside specific time to pray and read La Biblia is supposed to just come naturally if you're truly saved, but, well it doesn't for me and I know how important it is (at least for me) so I'm including it.
Work out at least twice a week, every week. This will honestly probably be my hardest goal. I always forget how much I like working out and how good it feels until I actually do it. Plus I'm in the "I don't have time" excuse crowd.
Read 25 books. I think this will be a good goal for me.
Write every single day. I realized last year that if I ever want to do anything with my writing besides just write on here and jot things down on note cards and in notebooks, I need to start being more disciplined.
Be more content/ complain less. I'm not sure exactly how I know if I'll have had success with this one or not, but these are definitely things I should work on.
Give sacrificially. This one is going to be tough, I'm sure. This means giving up my oh-so-valuable time to help others, because my time and how I spend it and how much I get done each day are really important to me. This also means pouring myself out in relationships; the very thought of that terrifies me, but I know I need to be more deliberate in maintaining friendships and encouraging others and things of that nature.
Those are all the ones I have right now. If you want to be encouraged to make the most of this year, I encourage you to read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. It's a great book to read at the beginning of the year (or anytime really).
Much Love,
Marissa Lanae
