It's that time of year

Hello, friends!

As cliche as they are, I absolutely love end-of-the-year blog posts, If you share this love, you're in luck! Here we go...

2009

Two-thousand nine was wonderful and horrible. I suppose most years are. Between school health issues, and plenty of relationship issues, this year has worn me out. I have definitely cried enough to fill a pond (hopefully one filled with fish!). But I have learned so much this year. I can't even begin to tell you the things the Lord has done in my little life over the past few months. He's taught me so much. He has convicted me of so many things: not fun, but I'm so very thankful that He does. I've even seen Him work in a place like my school. He has told me to do things, and I have felt the joy of obedience and the regret of disobedience. He has given me a deeper love for Him. Oh my. It's so much more than what I know how to say (is that a song?). This year I actually did things. Small things, but things I believed in.

2009: A year of change, growth, difficulty, and joy.

2010

I will wake up on Friday, and I will still have guillain barre. I will still be in school, and I will still have strained relationships. Two-thousand ten will bring new trials and fresh tears. That being said, the new year will also hold laughter and joy. I cannot wait to find out what the Lord has planned. I'm not really a resolution type person (nor am I a crazy, psycho non-resolution type person), but I do have a few goals. I want to memorize the New Testament, run a half-marathon, not buy a single article of clothing for myself, and read 40 books (I know that doesn't seem like very many, but I am an insanely slow reader).

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Much Love,

Marissa

"We all steal looks when we can, driving by the accident, but we never stop..."

A few weeks ago I overheard two girls talking. This is a normal occurrence, of course, but the topic of conversation is what made me stop and listen. They were talking about another girl. Actually, I don't think "talking" is the correct term. It was more like verbally abusing. They literally dissected every aspect of her physical appearance to find flaws. What happened to verses like Proverbs 31:30: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"?

But before I judge these girls, I need to look at myself. As I sat there listening to these girls talk about someone who is their equal as if she were a chunk of dirt, I realized something.

I realized that not a single ounce of my soul cared.

It's hard to care. When I care about people like the victim in this situation, my heart convulses with anger and pain when someone bullies him or her. It's easier to ignore all problems and go on my happy way, focusing on my problems, my friends, my classes, my wants, my life, and my goals. It hurts to be selfless and sensitive. So I became desensitized. I became a bystander.

What happened to verses like Proverbs 31:8: "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves"? What happened to me?

I found an easier way. I found a way that was much less important but much less lonely. I closed my eyes and covered my ears and listened to my selfish, greedy, unloving heart. If I close my eyes to this, how much more will I close my eyes to? Where does it end? Physical abuse, slavery, poverty? At what injustice will I finally open my eyes? I'll tell you. At this injustice. At this injustice I will take off the blindfold and take my hands off my ears.

I confessed, repented, found mercy, then wrote this:

Today I walked past a girl being beaten.

She didn't even know it.

She was defenseless

And I didn't defend her.

I closed my eyes and pretended not to see it.

Today I heard a story of a boy

Dying of AIDS.

I covered my ears and walked away.

But that doesn't solve anything; it just makes me part of the problem.

Today I talked to a girl who's hurting.

I offered no words of encouragement.

Today I walked past a thousand people who are perishing for their sins

and told not one of them

about the hope I have within.

Today I was selfish.

Today I told the world that Jesus hates them.

I'm supposed to represent Him, but I walk right past Him everyday

And keep Him tucked away in quiet times and church camp.

Today I made a mistake

but His mercies will new tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will speak up, stand up, and hurt with the hurting.

Father, open my eyes and break my heart.

I want to serve You with a pure life and dirty hands.

Father, forgive me.

Give me Your love and passion.

I'm on a Topical Island

Hello, friends!

I know you just love the title of this post, right? haha.

Topic #1: Movies

I'm really not a movie person at all. They get so old after a while, and I usually lose interest halfway through. I kind of like TV shows because you can drag them out for years. Anyway, anytime the topic of movies has come up lately, I've heard people mention The Blind Side. My family saw it on Thanksgiving. I have to say, I don't think I've ever seen a movie that was as terrible as The Blind Side. A) The acting was atrocious; the only somewhat likable character was Michael. B) The language was way overdone. I'm not a fan of cussing in general, but particularly not when it's obvious that it's only in a movie to be edgy or whatever. It would have been slightly understandable to put some language in the ghetto scenes, but there really wasn't any in those scenes. C) It was rather scandalous; Sandra and Tim were all over each other, and they're not even married in real life. D) The political and racial aspect was overemphasized. We get that you're white Republicans. We understand. You don't have to bring it up every two seconds.

The actual story is pretty neat, but the movie was a waste of time and money.

I will tell you what a good movie is: Larger Than Life in 3D. It was a concert that featured Dave Matthews Band, Ben Harper and Relentless 7, and Gogol Bordello. My sister and I went yesterday, and it was excellent. We were the only people in the theatre, so we were free to talk, which we did quite often. Haha. It was the first movie we've ever seen in 3D, so that was an exciting experience. Gogol Bordello was insane, and I'm pretty sure only half of their stuff was in English. Ben Harper was kind of lame, but I liked the drummer. DMB was wonderful. I've always thought they were really lame, but my opinion has since been changed. There was another band after the credits. I can't remember their name, but they were good. I'd tell you to go see it, but I'm not sure that it's still showing.

Topic #2: Exams

I love exams. I drew a picture in Paintbrush that says "I heart exams." True story. Haha. It's so fun to study independently and then just go to school for an hour and be done. Plus they're fun to talk about. I took my last one today, so I am o-fficially on break. I'm pretty excited.

Topic #3: Marathons

I ran a marathon a few weeks ago. Actually, that was a complete lie. I walked a 5k. Not as exciting but still very fun. My goal is to run a half-marathon next year. White kid much? Haha.

Topic #4: Illnesses

I've been sick for the past two weeks. I had a cold or something last week, and I woke up the other day and couldn't breathe as I normally do. I kinda freaked out, so I told my mom and went to the doctor and it turns out I have pneumonia. Thankfully it's not bad at all, and I'm already breathing better.

Topic #5: Facebook

I deactivated my Facebook the other day. Feels good.

Haha.

Topic #6: Tumblr

I have to say, I really do not like Tumblr. I like one or two profiles on there, but I don't think it can be considered a "blog." Most of the so-called blogs on there are just a series of emo pictures, quotations from movies, and updates on what the person is doing. In a "Which is actually a blog site-Blogspot vs. Tumblr" debate, Blogspot would win.

Topic #7: Knitting

I really want to learn how to knit. I found some slightly-helpful videos on Videojug, so that's a start I suppose. I will say, I rock at casting on. Haha. If you have any tips and such, they would be greatly appreciated.

Well, that's all for now. Get ready; the next post will be a bit intense.

Much Love,

Marissa