"We all steal looks when we can, driving by the accident, but we never stop..."

A few weeks ago I overheard two girls talking. This is a normal occurrence, of course, but the topic of conversation is what made me stop and listen. They were talking about another girl. Actually, I don't think "talking" is the correct term. It was more like verbally abusing. They literally dissected every aspect of her physical appearance to find flaws. What happened to verses like Proverbs 31:30: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"?

But before I judge these girls, I need to look at myself. As I sat there listening to these girls talk about someone who is their equal as if she were a chunk of dirt, I realized something.

I realized that not a single ounce of my soul cared.

It's hard to care. When I care about people like the victim in this situation, my heart convulses with anger and pain when someone bullies him or her. It's easier to ignore all problems and go on my happy way, focusing on my problems, my friends, my classes, my wants, my life, and my goals. It hurts to be selfless and sensitive. So I became desensitized. I became a bystander.

What happened to verses like Proverbs 31:8: "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves"? What happened to me?

I found an easier way. I found a way that was much less important but much less lonely. I closed my eyes and covered my ears and listened to my selfish, greedy, unloving heart. If I close my eyes to this, how much more will I close my eyes to? Where does it end? Physical abuse, slavery, poverty? At what injustice will I finally open my eyes? I'll tell you. At this injustice. At this injustice I will take off the blindfold and take my hands off my ears.

I confessed, repented, found mercy, then wrote this:

Today I walked past a girl being beaten.

She didn't even know it.

She was defenseless

And I didn't defend her.

I closed my eyes and pretended not to see it.

Today I heard a story of a boy

Dying of AIDS.

I covered my ears and walked away.

But that doesn't solve anything; it just makes me part of the problem.

Today I talked to a girl who's hurting.

I offered no words of encouragement.

Today I walked past a thousand people who are perishing for their sins

and told not one of them

about the hope I have within.

Today I was selfish.

Today I told the world that Jesus hates them.

I'm supposed to represent Him, but I walk right past Him everyday

And keep Him tucked away in quiet times and church camp.

Today I made a mistake

but His mercies will new tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will speak up, stand up, and hurt with the hurting.

Father, open my eyes and break my heart.

I want to serve You with a pure life and dirty hands.

Father, forgive me.

Give me Your love and passion.