Afternoon In the Life...

...of a student. More specifically, a slow-working, undiagnosed-ADD, not-very-smart student. Namely, me. Today's time of homework (which is still in full swing, mind you) has been particularly hard for some reason. But I'm determined to have a good attitude. Determined. The pastor at the church I went to today said that greatness is the peak of the mountain that has been climbed laboriously for many years. That success means burning the midnight oil when everyone else is out living it up (or sleeping; they're practically synonymous). So, with those sentiments in my mind, the strength of the Lord in my heart, and a cup of coffee in my hand, I will press on through the wee hours of the morning, studying and reading and writing.

Nothing worth having comes easy. The pain makes the city more beautiful. etc. etc. (I need lots of inspiration, you see).

Anyways, I'm a terrible time-manager, so in an effort to get better in that area, I've kept a detailed account of how I've spent my time this afternoon/evening and since I know you're all interested in it, I'm going to post it. Enjoy!

2:28- reading Sparknotes

3:10- watching Julius Caesar on Youtube

3:22- Creeping around on Tumblr

3:40- Taking a few photos and sending a text

3:53- Geometry

4:23- Second Geometry lesson

4:31- finished with geometry

4:37- reading blogs

4:40- Twittering

4:58- writing a paper

5:41- Twittering

5:52- writing a paper

6:15- dinner

6:25- lab write-up

6:49- blog-reading

6:55- continuing with the grueling write-up

7:03- coffee break

7:13- lab

8:07- ice cream break

8:23- back to lab write-up

9:05- break from the Lab of Doom to print off some papers

9:10- "5-minute nap"

12:10- wake up

12:12- Twitter

12:42- writing this

I know you are probably super jealous of my life right now. Super jealous.

Anyways, I've wasted enough of my time that could have been spent much more wisely, so I'm going to log off.

Much Love,

Marissa Lanae

Love WIns

If you're on Twitter, you've undoubtedly heard some of the scandal involving Rob Bell, and I just wanted to add my two cents. I, for one, think it's absolutely incredible that he's a worldwide trending topic on Twitter; how crazy is that?

I have a ton of respect for Rob Bell. A ton. I read Velvet Elvis a few years and it changed my perspective so much. He's not about easy answers and ignorant-yet-blissful theology.

He's about questions... pondering, wrestling, believing in a God who doesn't give us all the answers.

When I first recognized salvation, I knew I needed to have a relationship with God that wasn't about Sunday School answers and neatly-packaged ideas. I needed questions with answers I'm not allowed to know. I needed a journey, needed to dive into something weird and mysterious.

And that's not an easy thing.

I talk to my sweet little friends who have everything perfectly figured out in their heads, always ready with a conversation-ending verse from scripture that supposedly answers all my questions and doubts. I love those friends dearly, but I don't really understand them. I'm not saying that black and white don't exist, just that they often combine to form gray. Truth is a hard thing to come by (yes, even when it comes to the Bible) and I think everyone has valuable opinions that don't need to be ignored.

It seems that having all the answers takes away the beauty of pursuit, maybe even takes away the pursuit altogether.

I guess I'm not really a black-and-white thinker, and I think that's a good way to be. But other people are black-and-white thinkers and they know that that is the only way to be. And some people think one thing and other people think other things and everyone thinks of himself or herself as being right.

So really, you can see the problem.

Anyways, I can easily get caught up in blissfully ignorant Sunday school answer theology, but the past few days for me have been full of questions and doubts, pondering and confusion, and Rob Bell is the first person I ever remember hearing say that all of that is okay.

All the questions, stabs in the dark, struggling, and wrestling...they're all okay.

God is bigger than my ideas... confusion... restlessness. Bigger than black and white and gray.

In the words of Rob Bell, "The moment God is figured out with nice neat lines and definitions, we are no longer dealing with God."

Much Love,

Marissa Lanae

-Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

Weekend Words

Rest.
Knowledge.
Music & Lyrics.
Frustration.
Whistling Winds.
Fashion.
Cotton Candy Sky.
Naps.
Rain.
Imperfect.
Inspiration.
Thirst.
Uncertain.
Books.
Stories.
Church.
Productivity.
Discipline.
Poetry.
Warmth.
Inflexible.
Unconditional love.
Priorities.
Balloons.
Games.
Space.
Anagrams.
Pride.
Conflict.
Conviction.
Weakness.
Academics.
Chai tea.
Weightless.

A Writer's Life for Me

These are all the notebooks I'm using right now (well, minus the ones I use for school). There are 8 of them. I love them all and they all serve slightly different purposes.

The One on the Bottom is dark blue and I use it during my devotion time. I write down Bible verses, things the Holy Spirit shows me while I'm reading, prayer requests, and quotations from the book I'm reading, which right now happens to be The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer.

The Next One is invisible apparently. It's actually black, but it's not even the notebook I use; I've misplaced the one I actually use so I had to use a stand-in for the picture. I use this one for sermon and Sunday school notes and sometimes for drawing and other times for making lists of cliche things youth speakers do. (I have half a page dedicated to the cliche youth-pastory things a guy did a conference I went to last year. The list includes such things as "Claiming to have ADD, wearing a social justice t-shirt, making numerous pop culture references, etc.)

The Blue One is for book quotations. I feel like underlining in books is disrespectful or something, so instead I employ much time to copying large chunks of books word-for-word.

The Yellow One is for philosophy. My school doesn't offer a specific class for studying philosophy and I think it's an important subject to learn about, so I teach myself. Well, sort of. I downloaded some lectures from iTunes and listen to those when I get a chance. I take notes in this notebook.

The Striped One is my "writer's notebook." I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but I write stories and thoughts and poetry and such in here. This is the one I use to try to "hone my craft," so to speak.

The Red One is my diary, I guess you could say. It probably contains the most personal things and the most detailed accounts. I use this one for "throwing up" (definitely for lack of a better term) my thoughts and feelings.

The Small Green One is for poetry. Poetry is something I mostly enjoy consuming rather than creating. In this notebook I write down the poems I enjoy.

The Stack of Cards with a Clippy is the real-time "notebook." I take it with me pretty much everywhere I go and write down things as they happen so I don't forget anything.

So there you have it, folks. My stack of beloved notebooks. I've wanted to be a writer since I was 3 and my obsession with notebooks started around that same time. If my house ever goes up in flames, I will pray for time to drag out all of my ginormous boxes of journals. There's just something so wonderful about the written word. :)

Much Love,

Marissa Lanae