I would say that this verse sums up this whole year, particularly the past 2 months.
In January I thought my days of not being able to eat were over completely, but in February that terrifying nerve sensation came back and I haven't been able to swallow normally since. That was the first surprise. The next would come 2 months later.
At the end of my spring break, I wrote down different goals for the last quarter of the year. Things like "Make a 34 on the ACT," "Make an A+in every class," "Work out every day." Let's just say, I didn't really meet any of them...
The first week in April I went to a new doctor who made me cry gave me this new medicine to try that would heal me in three days and give me tons and tons of energy. I thought that sounded lovely, so I began taking it. Within 3 days, I thought I was going to absolutely pass out. It was horrible. I'm a high school student, so I know exhaustion all too well, but this was not exhaustion. This was fatigue. I could hardly think clearly and I literally felt like a 200-pound person was sitting on top of me. So I stayed home for a few days to recuperate and I thought I was good to go. Little did I know that the side effects last 6-8 weeks. Six to eight weeks, people! So basically, instead of meeting my over-achieving, self-glorifying goals, I was lying in bed barely able to move. Not fun.
Another unexpected event came my way this past Monday. I went on Facebook, expecting just to read lighthearted posts about summer and friends and the like. Instead I went on there and found out that 2 of my friends had died earlier that day. I was completely stunned. I still can't even fathom it. It's so, so sad.
And then there was yesterday... morning... My Sunday school teacher wasn't going to be there so she asked us to figure something out. So I volunteered. I spent quite a bit of time planning my lesson and practicing what I was going to say and I knew that the girls in my class love to talk, so I wasn't too terribly worried, just a little nervous. I love Sunday school a lot so I was really looking forward to teaching and saying a bunch of really brilliant things like other Sunday school teachers do. I prayed and prayed and prayed over my lesson and my classmates and that His will would be done. I had everything nice and neat and planned out and it. BOMBED. It was, hands-down, the most awkward class we've ever had. I won't go into all the gory, embarrassing details, but literally everything went wrong. Oh, Murphy's law and its accuracy.
And then there was yesterday...evening... I spent all day buying stuff for camp this week... all the stuff for my special diet... and more than ever I was ready for just a slight break from my surroundings. But I was completely and utterly fatigued. I still haven't gotten my energy back from before I took that horrible medicine. So around midnight last night, we decided I should just skip camp this year. I'm supposed to be on a bus right now heading for Alabama, but instead I'm sitting at home. Which stinks. I really, really wanted to go. But I know I don't have the energy for it... but it still makes me sad... but i know it's for the best. internal conflict ftw! ;)
Anyways, those are just a few of the many unexpected occurrences that have, in fact, occurred as of late. But I'm learning a lot and trusting the Lord and reminding myself that even if nothing is ever ok, one day everything will be glorious.
Much Love,
Marissa Lanae
P.S. "In their hearts humans plan their course,but the LORD establishes their steps." -Proverbs 16:9
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