Put in the right circumstance, I think we could love and/or bond with nearly anyone, so are all relationships circumstantial? I mean, if someone else were my mother, would I be as close to the other person as I am to my current mother, or is my mom's specific personality a huge factor in determining how well we get along? Family relationships are thrust on us from birth, and we learn to adapt to them, to the crazy habits our parents and siblings have. Can we do that with friendships and other types of relationships? Do we just give up too soon? Could we date/marry anyone and eventually learn to love that person? If so, what exactly is so special about relationships? When I think about all my closest relationships, it seems as though they all just happened. The "infatuation chemicals" in our brains kind of ruin the whole choosing vs. adapting theory. Our brain tells us who we like; we don't choose. And because we are generally inclined to think that this particular person hung the moon and invented sliced bread, there isn't a ton we adapt to. And as far as marriage goes, do we really need those "Things I want in a spouse" lists? Could anyone become the "perfect person" with a bit of time and grace?
Dating
What is dating? I would really like to know. I've been thinking about for a while, but I became even more confused the other night when I saw a Facebook status that said, "I'm finally dating the most amazing guy. He's always been my best friend and now we're together" or something along those lines. It made me wonder what changed. How is their relationship today different from their relationship the other day? Is dating a commitment? It can't be or people wouldn't break up. Is it based on emotion? That's part of it, but I'm sure everyone has liked someone but never officially "dated" that person, whatever that is. Is dating based on words? That's the only conclusion I have reached. Dating relationships usually begin with words like"Will you go out with me?" and end with words like "It's not you; it's me." Even wedding vows are just words. Are words really a good foundation for dating relationships? Are they even the real foundation? I've heard that dating is just preparation for divorce. I've also heard that dating helps us to discern what kind of person we should marry, which leads me to my next point...
Marriage
What exactly is the point of marriage? Oh, I know it's God-ordained and the first institution and necessary for being fruitful and multiplying and all that, but I mean what more is there? A few weeks ago some friends of mine informed me that every girl's dream is to get married. I'm pretty sure that's false. My dad says that marriage isn't something to fret over or dread; it's just a normal part of life. It's not the fulfillment of a lifelong dream or the answer to a problem; it's just something most people have to do. I guess that makes some sort of sense, at least more sense than people giving me bewildered looks because my goal in life isn't to get married.
In Conclusion
Well, these are just some things I've been pondering for the past few weeks. I look forward to learning more about relationships and coming up with new questions and continuing to learn how to love my neighbor and not be so cynical. I hope you could follow this post; it was a little on the stream-of-conscious side. Also, I'd love to hear your insights regarding these matters.
1 comment:
Like. I kinda know what you mean. It is confusing in some ways... and you brought up points I had never thought of before which is now making me think even harder...thanks...haha. : )
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